*20 years from now*
| Daughter: | Hey mom, I like this book. |
| Me: | Omg I'm so sorry! |
| Daughter: | Wait wha- |
| Me: | I'll call your teachers. |
| Daughter: | But why are you- |
| Me: | To let them know your grades will be dropping |
| Daughter: | My grades? Why would- |
| Me: | It's all downhill from here. Sorry. |
| Daughter: | Wait what do you mean? |
| Me: | You might as well say bye to all of your friends too. |
| Daughter: | But- |
| Me: | Do you want me to help you with your blog? |
| Daughter: | What? I don't have a blo- |
| Me: | But you will. |
| Daughter: | Wha- |
| Me: | Shh it's already done, it's too late now. There's no turning back, it'll be okay. |
| Daughter: | But- |
| Me: | Shh |
• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria.
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, save it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom while showering to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread from going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times.
(via frizz01percy)
I’ve been expecting you…
That is the single creepiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
(Source: darkwheat-thin, via sassordie)
Oh…
So this…
WASN’T filmed on…
….a soundstage?Oh.
This is most def creepy as fuck.
sorry but can you imagine driving by one day and just seeing the fucking teletubbies out your window
like they turn to look at you and you just fucking GUN IT because oHGOD THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU
Welcome.
Welcome to AREA FUCKING 51.
(Source: makeitlouder, via frizz01percy)
Okay, since I am no longer in need of this copy of TFiOS I have decided to do a giveaway just because I am feeling nice
Rules
- Must be following me
- One reblog/like per person/blog
- I will ship anywhere possible and cover all shipping feels, ect.
For my Sister <3 I hope to God I win
JACK BLACK IS LITERALLY LEADING AN ENTIRE ARMY OF PO COSTUMES HOW IS THIS PICTURE NOT ALL OVER TUMBLR
(Source: panda-w0rld, via frizz01percy)
